


Promise you won’t leave me again

by RyuuMW



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AUgust - Freeform, Angry Stiles Stilinski, Dialogue, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, Idiots in Love, Kisses, M/M, Mental Instability, Sarcastic Stiles, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 18:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15515817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuuMW/pseuds/RyuuMW
Summary: ‘Focus, Stiles, focus.’ He talks to himself. He’s nervous as fuck. He’s mad. He’s angry. He’s been so fucking sad and alone and he felt torn apart when not only Scott and the pack left, but even Derek. He left before Stiles could say something, before Stiles could hug him goodbye. Often, in Stiles’ dreams that always turned in nightmares he’d hug Derek, both of them crying. That dream shakes him every time and fuels his anger on himself and on Derek. He wants to punch Derek so damn hard. Now he can do that. He isn’t a 17 years old teenager with limbs that he can’t control. He’s a young 23 years old man who got into a habit of jogging every morning and every night for the last two years.





	Promise you won’t leave me again

**Author's Note:**

> Yo yo! It's august, guys!  
> I'm going to try and write, between my bigger fanfictions, some small one shots! I wish i could write one every single day, but we'll see! I just wrote this one and it's past 2 in the night!  
> I hope you enjoy this fresh oneshot! <3  
> Thank you for reading, i'd love all your comments and kudos if you enjoyed this!   
> Have a wonderful August!

‘Bro… there’s something going on with Derek.’ Stiles doesn’t even get to say ‘Hello’ while answering the phone when Scott just bursts out into his ear.

‘Dude, what do you mean? Where are you? I can’t hear shit.’ Stiles says, trying to focus on hearing Scott better, it sounds as if Scott’s running.

‘Sorry, I just ran to my bike. I don’t know, but I just went to the loft to ask him about Deaton.’ Scott says and Stiles hears him now perfectly.

‘Ok, so? What’s going on?’ Stiles asks, while pouring himself a glass of orange juice. It’s almost the middle of the night.

‘Well… I didn’t get a lot of information because he was in a bad mood.’

‘Well, that sounds normal to me. Scott, I have tons of papers to check. You know, I hate being an assistant, but…’ Stiles sighs.

‘Dude, look I know, but it’s serious. You know I’d never call you… if I wouldn’t feel like something’s off.’ Scott explains.

They don’t speak that often, even if they’re still in Beacon Hills, but they grew up and Scott was gone for two years with the whole pack and they only came back a few months ago. Derek didn’t stay in Beacon Hills, but he returned too, before Scott. Stiles, on the other hand, studied. He studied the shit out of everything. He avoided people; he stopped being a spazz, only because there wasn’t anyone around him, except his father and his professors. He’s in his third year of university and he’s an assistant in history class. He doesn’t do much, but teaching a few classes to the first year students, classes and subjects that he knows perfectly and time to time he grades the first year students too, just like now, when it’s that time of year, packed with exams.

‘Ok… explain…’ Stiles sighs.

‘I went to his loft. I smelled a weird combination of scents, mixed, but all of Derek. It felt like he… was mad and sad and angry and…. Sad at the same time.’ Stiles laughs. He misses Scott.

‘Dude… Derek, we’re talking about Derek. Angry and mad? Sure, but sad? Ok, maybe… but how’s that… wrong?’ Stiles asks, going back to the couch where he left the papers.

‘Tears, I smelled tears and anxiety. And he opened the door and I looked at him. He… I don’t know man, maybe he was crying I really don’t know but I tell you, I felt like someone replaced Derek. He looked… broken. Much more than he has been. And… and he rushed me.’ Scott explains. Stiles frowns.

‘He seemed fine when he left m… when he left all of us behind without an explanation.’ Stiles bites his lower lip.

‘I don’t know. I ask him what’s wrong and he pushed me. He just pushed me out. I am not joking. He said I should come other time.’  Stiles sighs again and gets up from the couch and goes upstairs to his room.

‘I’ll… I’ll stop by him.’ Stiles affirms.

‘Really? Will you do that?’ Scott sounds happier than Stiles wants him to be about all of this shit.

‘Yes. I… he saved us a lot, right? At least we can do something this small.’ Stiles says.

‘You’re right. Let me know what happened.’ Scott says. Stiles promises and hangs up. He collapses on his bed. God damn it, digging his own grave. He sighs again and again and then gathers up the courage and gets up. He searches for new clothes. He didn’t go out in days. Good thing he showered a few hours ago. He’s still in his pajamas though. He dresses up, takes the keys and goes to his car. While starting the engine and driving, he gets nervous suddenly, tapping on the wheel at every red light, biting his lips unconsciously, swallowing roughly, breathing with difficulties.

‘Focus, Stiles, focus.’ He talks to himself. He’s nervous as fuck. He’s mad. He’s angry. He’s been so fucking sad and alone and he felt torn apart when not only Scott and the pack left, but even Derek. He left before Stiles could say something, before Stiles could hug him goodbye. Often, in Stiles’ dreams that always turned in nightmares he’d hug Derek, both of them crying. That dream shakes him every time and fuels his anger on himself and on Derek. He wants to punch Derek so damn hard. Now he can do that. He isn’t a 17 years old teenager with limbs that he can’t control. He’s a young 23 years old man who got into a habit of jogging every morning and every night for the last two years.

He pulls into a non-stop fast food restaurant. He gets out and goes inside. He waits in line and then he orders one big pizza, seasoned fries and chicken wings, two servings. He takes the food and gets back in his car. He drives to a non-stop supermarket and buys beer and he decides to buy juice too, he doesn’t really know what Derek likes anymore, he never knew that well. He gets more nervous and anxious. But he’s glad he doesn’t have a panic attack. He won’t be able to control it. Soon he arrives in the parking lot, at Derek’s loft. He parks the jeep, grabs everything and gets to the elevator. He knows Derek senses his presence already. He knows his scent is invading Derek’s nostrils right now, that’s why his heartbeat gets even louder and he has to lean on the elevator’s wall because he feels numb. Damn, he’s really doing it. He didn’t think it thoroughly. He fucking wants to beat Derek, and yet he bought a lot of food and drinks and he’s shaking so badly.

He pushes the door which is open and enters slowly.

‘Yo, Derek, where are you, man? I know you… know I’m here.’ Stiles almost shouts. It’s kind of dark inside, only a dim light coming from where the bed is. Stiles looks around, nothing changed. Only a few small things, like the desk, Derek bought a new one and it’s full of books and a laptop that now it’s turned off. He looks to the other side and he sees that Derek bought a couch, not the most beautiful Stiles has ever seen, but it’s an improvement, especially for Derek. Stiles’ eyes wander around and then… he sees him. Derek gets out from the bathroom, walking… more like trying to walk properly towards Stiles. He doesn’t seem hurt or bleeding, Stiles frowns.

‘What are you doing here…. At this hour?’ Stiles’ whole body shivers. Derek is frowning and tries to look as cold as he can, but Stiles knows something’s wrong. Derek places his hands on his hips, trying to look all bossy.

‘I…’ Stiles’ mind doesn’t work.

‘You… you should… leave.’ Derek bites the words. Stiles feels Derek’s eyes checking him out. Stiles also catches the ‘wow’ in Derek’s eyes.

‘You know…’ Stiles begins to say, walking towards the table and places the food on it. ‘almost two years have passed… and all you want from me… is… to do what you did to me.’ Stiles gulps. He shakes so visibly, but he doesn’t realize it. He’s full on adrenaline and he’s mad, and yet worried about Derek. But he can’t do it anymore.

‘I… I had to leave.’ Derek fires back.

‘Oh, really? Without saying goodbye? Without a message? Without…’

‘I had… to.’ Derek bites the words. Stiles looks at him, while leaning onto a wall.

‘You had to… have you ever thought of what you left behind?’ Stiles asks, biting his lower lip. He doesn’t want to cry. But as he’s standing here, looking at the man he missed the most… damn, he shivers.

Derek doesn’t answer, he sighs then frowns more. Stiles gets really mad… he feels like crying so badly.

‘I have thought… every damn day…’ Stiles says.

‘About… what?’ Derek asks.

‘About you, you fucking stupid wolf.’ Stiles bursts out. Derek’s lips are parted and his eyebrows aren’t that frowned.

‘I fucking thought I did something in the first place. Oh, the fucked up boy Stilinski ruining Derek Hale’s perfect pack and life with his fucked up nonsense. Then… I thought you hated me that much so it was better to just leave. Then… I fucking thought you are too good to just run away because a prick like me annoys you. But months were passing by and you weren’t fucking coming back, and I said to myself… oh… I’m not that important to make him that pissed off so he’d be gone for this much…. and then the worries kicked in, Derek. And oh, how they fucked me up. Every god damn night. Seeing you bleeding to death in my dreams. Waking up in cold sweat because of fucking nightmares with you dying in every single way.’ Stiles’ tears are falling down his burning cheeks, but he doesn’t stop and Derek doesn’t interrupt him. ‘I’ve tried getting a hold of you, I’ve tried reaching you. I fucking called Cora every single month asking her if she found out about you. I fucking broke through the FBI video database. I did a lot of stupid shit. And when I was so damn tired of crying in my pillows, being a fucking mess, avoiding every single one, studying a lot, you fucking show up. At first I drove by every night for a week or two… never stopping, but I drove past this place, not having the guts to stop and see you. I was happy you were alive.’ Stiles wipes his tears away. He observes that Derek got closer to him.

‘But I was even sadder as days passed by… because you didn’t care to see me… you fucking piece of shit.’ Stiles lets it out.

‘Stiles…’ Derek whispers, getting closer.

‘Shut the fuck up. I’m so mad right now. I’m so… fucking angry.’ Stiles’ voice cracks a little, making him look so devastated.

‘Stop it, Stiles.’

‘Fuck you, really. Just… you’re such a piece of shit… I fucking hate you so much.’ Stiles sobs. Derek grabs him by his wrists.

‘Stiles… you have all the right to… hate me.’ Derek’s voice is soft and Stiles is startled. Derek never speaks this soft… and yet Derek never talked  to Stiles for two years… Stiles is overwhelmed by sadness and he tries to free his hands from Derek’s grip. As much as he’s in good shape, Stiles is still weak compared to Derek.

‘I so… I so want to hate you…’ Stiles breathes through the tears. Derek is shaken, his grip around Stiles’ wrists loosen up a little bit, not completely.

Stiles looks up, between his teary eyes, just to see Derek’s face. He’s way closer than he ever imagined him to be. Stiles feels embarrassed and his cheeks are hotter than ever. Derek hesitantly leans in… closer and closer… and Stiles melts. His shoulders shiver and relax… his knees feel weak and trembling. Derek’s lips are far beyond what Stiles has ever imagined. There’s a soft sensation and the roughness of his beard, brushing onto Stiles’ soft skin… Stiles lets out a muffled sound, a puppy sound and Derek’s heart smiles.

‘I’ve missed you… every minute.’ Derek whispers onto Stiles’ lips. He doesn’t let him say something, but leans back on kissing the boy. He kisses him soft, Stiles’ lips are warm and shaky and Derek falls in love with them. Their tongues briefly touch, too shy and Stiles fails to hold himself on his own feet. Derek smiles so widely into the kiss as his hands go around Stiles’ waist to hold him from falling. Derek sighs when Stiles’ fingers go through his grown out hair and when they stop onto his bearded neck, slowly caressing the skin there, softly touching one of his ears… Derek lets out a muffled moan.  They break the touching of lips in need of air. Their foreheads lean and touch.

‘You’ve left me so broken…’ Stiles whispers.

‘I… I wasn’t sure…’ Derek breathes and then pecks Stiles’ lips. ‘I only observed things… but I wasn’t sure… of your feelings.’ Derek says softly. Stiles can’t believe how changed Derek is.

‘I wanted to confess, but you scared the shit out of me.’ Stiles answers and both of them laugh. Stiles blushes hearing Derek laughing. ‘That’s… beautiful.’ Stiles whispers.

‘What?’ Derek asks.

‘You laughing.’ Derek kisses him again. They kiss and kiss and smile for minutes.

‘Uhm… I kind of… love this whole kissing in the hallway thing… but you have… a bed and now a couch too… and my legs are… weak… you make me weak… so I really… need to sit down… and also…’ Derek kisses him again. ‘Food… I brought food, it’ll get cold.’ Stiles sighs in the second kiss. God, it feels so good being kissed by the wolf. Derek stepped back, looking at Stiles head to toe.

‘You’ve… grown up.’ Derek smiles. Stiles blushes and he tries to walk straight towards the couch.

‘Shut up…’ He collapses on the couch. Derek grabs the food Stiles brought and puts in on the small table in front of the couch then he sits down too.

‘Why did you bring food? A lot of food…’ Derek eyes the food. Stiles scratches his head nervously.

‘Well… I wanted to hit you so badly and punch you and beat your ass… but also I was worried.’ Stiles confesses and Derek laughs.  ‘What? Scott… told me you were crying.’ Stiles looks down at his knees.

‘I was.’ Derek confesses this time. He tries to hide his nervousness by opening the pizza box and the everything. Stiles gets closer to him and he picks some fries. Derek takes a slice of pizza.

‘Why?’ Stiles asks, eating silently his fries. He didn’t realize he hasn’t eaten all day. But the realization that he’s currently eating with Derek makes him blush again.

‘Well…tonight was the first time Scott showed up… I sensed his smell blocks away.’ Derek explains.

‘Scott made you cry?’ Stiles asks surprised and Derek looks at his face, finding it too adorable he leans and pecks his lips. Stiles closes his eyes. ‘Is it possible… to feel this fucking numb when I’m sitting down?’ Derek frowns funnily at him; Stiles’ sentence didn’t make any sense.

‘He didn’t smell like you.’ Derek goes back on eating his fries now.

‘This made you cry?’ Stiles asks curiously, eating a slice of pizza now. Derek smiles.

‘You know… it hit me. When I didn’t smell you on him… it hurt. And I found myself… crying...’ Derek swallows.

‘We… stopped hanging out… I mean two years no one was around, I could’ve hanged myself, but it would have been lame.’ Stiles jokes and Derek frowns. ‘Sorry… I… I always make this kind of jokes… it’s… a habit.’ 

They eat in silence for a few minutes then Derek grabs a beer.

‘I want one too.’ Stiles says.

‘We share.’ Derek responds and Stiles freezes. Derek sits back on the couch and pulls Stiles closer to him, holding him into his embrace. He takes some sips of beer and hands it to Stiles. As Stiles enjoys the beer, Derek leans in and places a kiss on top of Stiles’ head, then he sniffs him, nibbling with his nose, making Stiles to lean back a little so Derek can sniff onto his neck. Stiles trembles. He puts the beer bottle down.

‘I’ve missed your scent.’ Derek whispers onto Stiles’ neck.

‘Fuck…’ Stiles shivers, but leaning closer to Derek. Derek places small kisses onto his skin, then grabs his chin and turns his face towards him, kissing his lips again. Derek breaks the kiss too soon, Stiles wants to protest, but Derek pulls him into a tight hug.

‘Der…’ Stiles hugs him back. Derek holds him tighter.

‘I’ve missed you.’ Derek mumbles and Stiles feels it.

‘Der… are you crying? You’re making me cry again, fuck you.’ Stiles says, tears in his eyes. Derek laughs between tears. He’s silent when it comes to crying, but damn, this is such a rare sight.

‘ _Promise you won’t leave me again_.’ Stiles whispers.

‘If you promise you’ll stop making that kind of jokes.’ Derek responds. Stiles smiles in the hug.

‘I promise.’

‘I promise too.’ Derek says and leans back just to watch at Stiles. ‘You look far away from being a university assistant…’ Derek says. His teary eyes are the most beautiful thing Stiles has ever seen.

‘How… how did you know?’ Stiles is surprised.

‘I’ve seen you some days ago… you were in a coffee shop complaining about a student that didn’t know when the Fall of the Roman Empire took place…’ Derek smiled.

‘Fuck I was so pissed off… I’ve taught that specific thing 10 times. And he still didn’t get it right…’ Stiles sighs. Derek finds Stiles wonderful, this kind of dedication he has for teaching history reminds him of the same exact dedication he had when he’d help Derek find information to solve God knows what magical mystery around Beacon Hills. He missed this. He missed Stiles.

Stiles looks at Derek… and he looks… and he looks and this time he’s the one to lean and peck Derek’s lips.

‘We’ve both grown up… didn’t we?’ Stiles asks.

‘I hope so.’ Derek answers, embarrassed.

‘What is it?’ Stiles smirked.

‘I… there’s a reason I had to leave.’ Derek says shyly.

‘You’re acting weird… well… you’ve been weird all night… leaving aside the fucking kisses, god I only dreamed of kissing Derek Hale… and damn, that beard feels.. wow…. I want it all over my body.’ Stiles bursts out and then his eyes widen. Derek laughs. ‘Exactly my point, you laughing, talking so much, crying… touching me… ok maybe you like me too… but… of fuck…’ Stiles panics. He inhales and exhales.

‘I used to like you.’ Derek smiles. ‘I wasn’t sure… I found it weird and I thought I’m making things up when I thought I caught you staring at me… I just tried to think you were curious… but then I observed the small touches… and I kind of knew you liked me… more than…’ Derek explains embarrassed.

‘Well, I used to be head over heels… I couldn’t be around you more than 10 minutes without getting hard…’ Stiles confesses and Derek looks at him weirdly, but smiling. ‘What? I thought it’s confessing time!’ Stiles exclaims, making Derek laugh.

‘I’m glad to hear that… actually… I started to find you really… attractive… not only… visually…’ Derek pauses, covering his face. ‘Jeez, this is embarrassing… anyways… I found you attractive both visually and… intellectually when you were… I think 19… I mean then I realized I… like you… But…’

‘But?!’ Stiles is eager to know everything. Derek sighs.

‘But I was in a bad state. You had to develop… to grow… I would’ve held you back.’ Derek’s pained when he tells all of this. Stiles’ mouth is open.

‘Com’on… really?!’ Stiles exclaims, rolling his eyes.

‘Stiles… think. I was more of a werewolf… than a normal person.’ Derek explains.

‘So what? Did you just go on a life changing journey, did you see therapists to get your shit back together?’ Stiles sarcastically asks.

‘Oh, fuck!’ he exclaims when Derek doesn’t say anything, but smiles dumbfounded. ‘You actually did it… this… this… wow…. Did you see a therapist?’ Stiles is amazed.

‘A psychiatrist actually…’ Derek corrects him while scratching the back of his head nervously. ‘I had anger issues and communication problems… I used to hate the therapy sessions… but… it helped, right?’ Derek asks.

‘Actually… I think so… you talk… with… me and a lot… and… you touch me…’ Stiles is blushing.

‘Cora knew about this. She was so mad at me, complaining that she’s sick of being bothered by you.’ They laugh. ‘But also… she was proud…’

‘I’m proud…’ Stiles whispers. Derek grabs one of his hands and their fingers connect.

‘I… started to read a lot… I used to love books… but…’ Derek stops.

‘I know, it’s ok.’  Stiles’ thumb is caressing Derek’s top of the hand.

‘I bought a lot of books… I actually… own the small book shop down town.’ Derek confesses. Stiles gasps.

‘No fucking way. No fucking way.’ Derek laughs.

‘What?’

‘Shut the fuck up, Der… do you wear glasses?’ Stiles asks. Derek frowns. ‘Ok, I’m going to borrow you mine and you’re going to fuck me in that store, behind the book shelves, I don’t fucking care.’ Stiles’ really heated. Derek blushes slightly. When did Stiles become so… straight forward?

‘Is this… a kink of yours?’ Derek teases.

‘Uhm… I had a lot of time to think… and imagine stuff…’ Stiles realizes what he said. ‘But it’s totally ok if you don’t want to.’ Stiles says, being way too embarrassed. Stiles gasps when Derek pushes him back and goes on top of him.

‘I would totally fuck you. Anywhere.’ Derek says and now Stiles feels like dying out of embarrassment and shyness. This is the rough Derek, but in a good way… not wanting to kill Stiles… not like he used to back in the days.

‘You… totally should… we need to… you know… we’ve lost… two years… we have a lot to…’ Derek stops Stiles talking by kissing him roughly, this time their tongues aren’t shy anymore and Stiles lets out a lewd moan. Derek is surprised by it and breaks the kiss.  Stiles places his hands on Derek’s cheeks and caresses them.

‘You know I… don’t want to just… fuck…’ Stiles says, sounding so innocently and Derek can’t help but smile. He nods, smiling.

‘Also… you know I don’t hate you…’ Stiles whispers, embarrassed. Derek rolls his eyes. He nods again.

‘And you know… I’ve been… kind of… loving you all these years…’ Stiles confesses. Derek catches one of his hands and kisses it.

‘I know. That’s why… I wanted this to work… because I love you… a lot.’ Derek closes his eyes. Stiles’ heart skips a beat… or a thousand.

‘You… did all of those… for me?’ Stiles asks. ‘I mean it’s stupid to ask this… because I want all the best for you… but…’ Stiles gulps.

‘I did it for both of us… told you… I was instable… you deserved much better… and I didn’t want you to find someone better than I was then… so I became better.’ Derek explains and Stiles’ heart is filled with happiness. ‘But… I didn’t want to hurt you like I did… leaving like that… that was wrong… but…’ Derek stops because Stiles gets up a little and kisses him.

‘I’ve told you too… you left me broken… but you came back… and this…’ Stiles points towards them. ‘This is all it takes for me to be happy… Derek Hale… my forever crush… the man whose name I whispered all these years when I was… touching myself…’ They both laugh. ‘Shhh…. As I was saying… Derek Hale… loving me back…. That’s…that was the missing piece.’ Stiles smiles so widely and Derek leans in kissing those smiling lips. Derek collapses onto Stiles but carefully enough not to crush him.

‘I’m glad you cried tonight.’ Stiles whispers, as his hands are caressing Derek’s back.

‘I’m glad I did it.’ Derek says and Stiles smiles, tears in his eyes because Derek isn’t glad that he cried tonight, but… he’s glad he had the courage to change himself, to become better. Stiles will always love him, he loved him at his worst, and of course he’ll love Derek at his best.


End file.
